You should not automatically do anything when you file for divorce. This is a tough and stressful time, but you should try to keep yourself off autopilot as much as you can. Think about every move you make. Sometimes a restraining order is an obvious necessity, but sometimes it is a judgment call. When to get a restraining order If your spouse is physically attacking, harassing, or threatening you or your children, then protect yourself. Particularly if there are children involved, safety is a priority. You should keep in mind, though, that a restraining order alone is not always effective. In addition to getting the court order, you must take measures to secure your home and protect your family. When you feel that you need a restraining order, it is a sign that you need to change your locks and make sure that all your windows cannot be opened from the outside. Do not change your phone number, but begin screening your calls, saving any hostile or threatening messages from your ex. It is illegal to threaten someone. Tell your friends about your problem, and let them help you. Become alert to your surroundings and more cautious in your behavior. When to avoid a restraining order If you and your spouse are trying to have an amicable divorce, do not get a restraining order. Instead, avoid talking to your former spouse when he or she is angry, and avoid him or her when you are not in control of your anger as well. Try mediation to work out the details of the divorce, and if you still cannot agree, then work through your lawyers or paralegals rather than face to face. Judgment calls When you divorce, you may feel that you are seeing a side of your former spouse that you did not even know existed. However, he or she is still predictable; this is still the person you knew. Be cautious, but remember to be understanding. Often ex-spouses feel insulted or belittled by restraining orders. Do not avoid getting one for that reason, but understand that your ex may see a restraining order as a kind of attack. The mere existence of the order can cause a surge of anger that you should be prepared to handle. To summarize, if you feel in any way endangered get a restraining order, and take measures to secure your safety at the same time. Then avoid your former spouse. If you and your ex-spouse are able to work together on arrangements for the divorce, then do not get a restraining order. Treat your former spouse with respect and courtesy, and expect the same. If yours is not a friendly divorce, try to avoid getting a restraining order unless you feel that you are in danger. The most successful divorces leave the possibility of true communication open, at some time in the distant future. Get a restraining order if you need one, but do not automatically assume that you do. Category:Home › Other • Pomegranates: A newly discovered superfood • Where did the joke why did the chicken cross the road come from and why is it funny? • Can mothers diagnosed with bipolar disorder make good parents? • Spiritual evolution of human consciousness • Tips for getting a college basketball scholarship • Living with Pseudotumor cerebri (PTC) • Caring for the caregiver • Technologys impact on society